The Joke Thread

golinux · 2024-07-04 00:46:33

Nice to see a new face in here . . .

golinux · 2024-07-04 00:49:56

Lighten up, @golinux! This is a joke thread . . .

Yeah . . . it's a joke for sure . . .

Sorry, couldn't resist . . . hehehe

quickfur · 2024-07-04 01:01:47

@soren: that bus driver joke was awesome. Nice to see a new participant in this sordid thread.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-05 14:52:26

Here's another one just for my friend golinux...

Q. What looks like half of a potato?

A. The other half.

golinux · 2024-07-05 15:02:25

THUD . . . or maybe spud? That is biologically impossible. Potatoes are waaaay too gnarly for 2 halves to look alike. Maybe more coffee?

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-05 16:01:28

I knew you would have a good come-back.

golinux · 2024-07-06 16:16:20

I hope . . . erm, poke to please.

quickfur · 2024-07-09 16:04:00

Why are teenagers so odd?

Because they can't even.

quickfur · 2024-07-09 21:12:09

Wife: Honey, you really need to watch your weight.
Husband: I've been watching my weight! I've finally gotten it to the point where I can see it!

golinux · 2024-07-10 01:26:29

Memory issues? Wasn't once enough?

https://dev1galaxy.org/viewtopic.php?pid=51012#p51012

See . . . I have been paying attention . . .

quickfur · 2024-07-10 15:45:52

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to afford to pay attention. I'd have to pay through the nose, you see. The scenter of attention.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-10 18:03:50

When an Arch-user tries Devuan and finally gets an update...

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-10 19:58:27

A policeman pulled me over for reckless driving.

He said, "How high are you?"

I said, "No sir. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

quickfur · 2024-07-10 22:31:06

Student A: I can't believe it!! Remember that boy Joe?
Student B: Joe? The guy the teacher's always sending out of the class for not doing his homework?
Student A: Yeah! Guess what, he got straight A's in the exams!
Student B: Well, I guess he's always been outstanding...

quickfur · 2024-07-10 22:39:48

Why does this impressionist painting look like coins falling from the sky?

Because it's Cloud Monet.

quickfur · 2024-07-10 22:44:57

After a lifetime of solving difficult math problems, the mathematician unfortunately succumbed to heart disease. He couldn't solve his arrhythmatic problem.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-12 13:35:46

Last night, I put Legos all over the floor on my wife's side of the bed. Then I set off the fire alarm...

quickfur · 2024-07-12 15:00:31

Wow you must really hate your wife!

OTOH...

foot: (n.) a device for locating Lego blocks on the floor.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-12 15:39:41

Nah...I just like to watch her dance...

quickfur · 2024-07-12 16:27:28

I heard she was a tap dancer.

Until one day, she fell into the sink.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-13 19:34:17

Last night, I slept like a baby.

I woke up every 2 hours to scream and cry.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-07-13 19:36:01)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-13 19:35:05

The local YMCA came by asking for donations for a new swimming pool.

So, I gave them a glass of water.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-13 19:45:00

Last week, I put an entire jigsaw puzzle together in less than a day.

The box said 5 - 7 years.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-07-13 19:45:14)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-13 19:47:20

99.9% of people today seem to be complete imbeciles.

I'm glad I'm part of the 1%.

quickfur · 2024-07-17 00:58:34

When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade.

But when life gives you melons, ...

... it means you're dyslexic.

The officially official Devuan Forum!

#551 2024-07-04 00:46:33

Re: The Joke Thread

#552 2024-07-04 00:49:56

Re: The Joke Thread

#553 2024-07-04 01:01:47

Re: The Joke Thread

#554 2024-07-05 14:52:26

Re: The Joke Thread

#555 2024-07-05 15:02:25

Re: The Joke Thread

#556 2024-07-05 16:01:28

Re: The Joke Thread

#557 2024-07-06 16:16:20

Re: The Joke Thread

#558 2024-07-09 16:04:00

Re: The Joke Thread

#559 2024-07-09 21:12:09

Re: The Joke Thread

#560 2024-07-10 01:26:29

Re: The Joke Thread

#561 2024-07-10 15:45:52

Re: The Joke Thread

#562 2024-07-10 18:03:50

Re: The Joke Thread

#563 2024-07-10 19:58:27

Re: The Joke Thread

#564 2024-07-10 22:31:06

Re: The Joke Thread

#565 2024-07-10 22:39:48

Re: The Joke Thread

#566 2024-07-10 22:44:57

Re: The Joke Thread

#567 2024-07-12 13:35:46

Re: The Joke Thread

#568 2024-07-12 15:00:31

Re: The Joke Thread

#569 2024-07-12 15:39:41

Re: The Joke Thread

#570 2024-07-12 16:27:28

Re: The Joke Thread

#571 2024-07-13 19:34:17

Re: The Joke Thread

#572 2024-07-13 19:35:05

Re: The Joke Thread

#573 2024-07-13 19:45:00

Re: The Joke Thread

#574 2024-07-13 19:47:20

Re: The Joke Thread

#575 2024-07-17 00:58:34

Re: The Joke Thread

Board footer