The Joke Thread

zapper · 2024-06-30 00:53:21

@quickfur I would be interested in knowing how many % of t *those* jokes are your own. More than half of the ones I posted are ones I remember hearing somewhere. The rest I came up with on my own.'

typo*

Last edited by zapper (2024-06-30 00:53:51)

zapper · 2024-06-30 01:20:35

Did you know count dracula is going to be donald trump's running mate?

Because who else can he count on?

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-30 01:33:36

Never ask a magician to reveal his tricks. Just enjoy the show.

quickfur · 2024-06-30 02:10:03

Disappointed?? And here I was thinking these jokes must have been well-known already, since anyone could find them online within a few seconds or so on any competent search engine. Or at the most a few minutes.

quickfur · 2024-06-30 03:20:09

Never ask a magician to reveal his tricks. Just enjoy the show.

Well I guess my name is now Ian. Having lost my magic.

golinux · 2024-06-30 15:11:18

quickfur wrote:

Disappointed?? And here I was thinking these jokes must have been well-known already, since anyone could find them online within a few seconds or so on any competent search engine. Or at the most a few minutes.

Why anybody would be interested in searching for "jokes" is unthinkable to me?! Any word play from this end has been something that popped into my own mind. And if I have a craving for the most excellent word play, I'll read some Shakespeare not this thread . . .

aluma · 2024-06-30 17:30:18

I'll read some Shakespeare not this thread . . . wink

Yeah. One day I thought that there were real masterpieces on the Internet that I had never heard or seen. And instead of wasting time on useless forum debates, my recipe is solitaire + YouTube with classics, Bach, Von Karajan, etc.

golinux · 2024-06-30 17:49:55

@aluma . . . You have good taste. But then I'm prejudiced since that's what I grew up on and swam in for 40 years.

quickfur · 2024-06-30 23:13:19

Puns on the internet: a dime a dozen.

Classical masterpieces on YouTube: a fortune.

Classical masterpieces while reading the Devuan joke thread: priceless.

greenjeans · 2024-07-01 01:58:01

"And if I have a craving for the most excellent word play, I'll read some Shakespeare not this thread . . . wink"

Interesting...if I remember my Shakespeare..."get thee hence....something something...." ;-)

I'm sad that we'll probably never meet, it would be an interesting conversation my dear friend. Nice glass of tea and philosophy/theology... I feel like we'd both come away from it with some enlightenment, which is always a good thing.

Last edited by greenjeans (2024-07-01 01:58:44)

golinux · 2024-07-01 02:46:05

Oh, my dear greenjeans . . . what a wonderful surprise to see your post! It has been waaaay too long since you stopped by!! Yes, Hamlet was on to something that so few can understand but for very different reasons. Why don't you drop by our weekly Jitsi meet every Thursday at 20:30 UTC. That's 3:30 Central in DST and I think you're in Mountain. It usually doesn't last too long and we can hang out for a while after it's over. Bonus . . . fsmithred is usually there too!

greenjeans · 2024-07-02 16:50:31

Lol, I just remember most of Hamlet from playing him in the high school play a million years ago, Macbeth too, mostly I just like reading Shakespeare because I have never seen somebody other than a German orchestra conductor that could as thoroughly and creatively insult somebody. ;-)

I'm more into non-fiction as an adult, so much to learn out there and so little time. Hadn't heard of Jitsi until you mentioned it, will check it out and maybe make it happen, I vastly prefer to talk to folks in person, kind of an old curmudgeon that way, but i'll try.

FYI i'm back in Central time, we bought a house in South Dakota late last year, it's a fixer-upper so that's why I haven't been online as much.

When winter comes again though i'll need a project to keep me busy, thinking about doing a MATE-specific Devuan spin using Refracta-tools to build and for the installer.

Anyhoo, sorry for getting off-topic, for joke thread I have some memes/jokes I made very much inspired by AP's goofy dad jokes and LOTR, lol, just gonna post the links up here as i'm not sure posting actual meme images is okay.

https://i.imgflip.com/8urixx.jpg

https://i.imgflip.com/8ureyl.jpg

https://i.imgflip.com/8urhps.jpg

quickfur · 2024-07-02 17:29:07

Your image links seem to be inaccessible to the public.

Reminds me of the time there was a conference on web technologies in this fancy new building downtown, in room 404, but the attendees couldn't find the room!

Last edited by quickfur (2024-07-02 17:30:22)

golinux · 2024-07-02 19:31:20

@greenjeans . . . Thanks for the catch-up! I would also prefer in-person but I think we'll have to settle with technology if we want it to happen. Specific info about the meet is posted on the devuan-dev mail list a few days prior. At least we are TZ compatible . . .

Just for you, I'll have a look at the images even though memes are so not my thing. I am more of a word person . . .

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-03 08:14:15

What did the rude flower say to the herb who thought itself wiser than others?

Begonia sage.

I know. I know. Pretty lame...but I still laughed at it.

quickfur · 2024-07-03 10:57:09

Sounds like the vegetable who got into a pickle because it thought it was a big dill in the world... 🤣

golinux · 2024-07-03 15:58:43

Has there been a timewarp? Are we back in highschool?

quickfur · 2024-07-03 19:58:48

As someone once said, you are only young once, but you can remain immature indefinitely!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-03 20:39:27

golinux wrote:

Has there been a timewarp? Are we back in highschool?

I'm fairly sure that you didn't mean that to be funny...but I can't stop laughing about it!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-07-03 20:41:58

Let's take it back to elementary school...

Why was the cat so slow?

Because of its paws.

golinux · 2024-07-03 20:59:45

As someone once said, you are only young once, but you can remain immature indefinitely! tongue

Very sad and very true but . . . somehow (and thankfully) I missed that memo so can't really relate to the glorification of youth. I was once trapped in a young body and had to associate with silly young ones and did so as little as possible. Adult company and conversation was still rather boring but a bit more interesting . . .

quickfur · 2024-07-03 21:41:11

Lighten up, @golinux! This is a joke thread; what was said wasn't intended to be taken seriously!

But now that I've to come out and say it, it's no longer funny. Sigh.

quickfur · 2024-07-03 21:43:18

On a lighter note, what do you call a country of skydiving fanatics?

An explanation.

soren · 2024-07-04 00:16:37

A blind woman got on a bus. Sadly, all the seats were taken.
A man noticed that no one else on the bus was willing to give up their seat for the blind woman, so he kindly guided her to his seat and took a standing spot. As the bus started up, the man frowned at the others for their selfishness.

Later that day, the man came home in tears, covered in bruises.

"What's the matter?" asked the man's wife.

"I lost my job as a bus driver."

soren · 2024-07-04 00:21:59

How many baby boomers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They'll leave it how it is, expect millennials to clean up after them, and call them selfish and entitled when they get called on it.

The officially official Devuan Forum!

#526 2024-06-30 00:53:21

Re: The Joke Thread

#527 2024-06-30 01:20:35

Re: The Joke Thread

#528 2024-06-30 01:33:36

Re: The Joke Thread

#529 2024-06-30 02:10:03

Re: The Joke Thread

#530 2024-06-30 03:20:09

Re: The Joke Thread

#531 2024-06-30 15:11:18

Re: The Joke Thread

#532 2024-06-30 17:30:18

Re: The Joke Thread

#533 2024-06-30 17:49:55

Re: The Joke Thread

#534 2024-06-30 23:13:19

Re: The Joke Thread

#535 2024-07-01 01:58:01

Re: The Joke Thread

#536 2024-07-01 02:46:05

Re: The Joke Thread

#537 2024-07-02 16:50:31

Re: The Joke Thread

#538 2024-07-02 17:29:07

Re: The Joke Thread

#539 2024-07-02 19:31:20

Re: The Joke Thread

#540 2024-07-03 08:14:15

Re: The Joke Thread

#541 2024-07-03 10:57:09

Re: The Joke Thread

#542 2024-07-03 15:58:43

Re: The Joke Thread

#543 2024-07-03 19:58:48

Re: The Joke Thread

#544 2024-07-03 20:39:27

Re: The Joke Thread

#545 2024-07-03 20:41:58

Re: The Joke Thread

#546 2024-07-03 20:59:45

Re: The Joke Thread

#547 2024-07-03 21:41:11

Re: The Joke Thread

#548 2024-07-03 21:43:18

Re: The Joke Thread

#549 2024-07-04 00:16:37

Re: The Joke Thread

#550 2024-07-04 00:21:59

Re: The Joke Thread

Board footer