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#426 2024-06-11 00:50:24

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 874  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did SNL have Will Ferrel as a cast member?

Because they wanted a talking cat. tongue


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
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#427 2024-06-11 14:52:27

igorzwx
Member
Registered: 2024-05-06
Posts: 17  

Re: The Joke Thread

Professor: My students seem to be extremely stupid. They cannot understand FFT. I made many attempts to explain it in different ways. I have already understood it myself, and they still do not understand anything.

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#428 2024-06-11 16:22:31

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 272  

Re: The Joke Thread

Does it bother me when people answer their own questions?

Yes, it does.

tongue

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#429 2024-06-11 19:08:01

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why ask rhetorical questions?

big_smile

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#430 2024-06-12 09:22:42

soren
Member
Registered: 2023-04-30
Posts: 109  

Re: The Joke Thread

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.

...............................

The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Last edited by soren (2024-06-12 09:25:17)

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#431 2024-06-12 11:42:31

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Roman numerals are difficult; but when you get to 159, it just CLIX!

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#432 2024-06-12 11:54:18

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None; they just tell the light bulb to do it!

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#433 2024-06-12 13:50:50

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 272  

Re: The Joke Thread

Yesterday, my son called me "old man" to impress his friends.

I laughed with them.

Then, I changed the wifi password.

tongue

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#434 2024-06-12 15:49:26

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 272  

Re: The Joke Thread

The word "incorrectly" is spelled incorrectly.

tongue

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#435 2024-06-12 16:47:57

igorzwx
Member
Registered: 2024-05-06
Posts: 17  

Re: The Joke Thread

Many things are incomprehensible to us not because our comprehension is weak, but because those things are not within the frames of our comprehension.
Kozma Prutkov. Fruits of Reflection (1853-1854).

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#436 2024-06-12 22:39:06

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Kid 1: How do you spell "wrong"?
Kid 2: R-O-N-G.
Kid 1: No, that's wrong.
Kid 2: No, it's right because I spelled wrong!

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#437 Yesterday 10:28:37

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 272  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife asked if I would put Brown Mustard on the shopping list.

Now, I can't read anything on it.

tongue

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#438 Yesterday 16:01:04

igorzwx
Member
Registered: 2024-05-06
Posts: 17  

Re: The Joke Thread

Teacher: How much is two times two?
Student: Are we buying or selling?

Last edited by igorzwx (Yesterday 16:01:59)

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#439 Yesterday 16:46:58

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Question: How many guacas are in 1 guacamole?

Answer: 6.022×10²³, also known as Avocado's Number.

🤣

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#440 Yesterday 19:39:14

igorzwx
Member
Registered: 2024-05-06
Posts: 17  

Re: The Joke Thread

- I want to go to Paris again.
- Have you already been to Paris?
- Not yet. But I already wanted.

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#441 Yesterday 21:04:18

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Bare foot: (n.) A device for locating thumb tack on the floor.

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#442 Today 15:08:19

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 272  

Re: The Joke Thread

I have 3 unwritten rules that I live by...

1.
2.
3.

tongue

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#443 Today 21:42:03

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

Shin: (n.) A device for finding furniture in the dark.

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#444 Today 21:43:40

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 249  

Re: The Joke Thread

The two rules of success:

1) Don't tell everything that you know.

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