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#326 2024-03-25 20:56:09

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

I've been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. I heard that you can't get there alone; you have to be in Cahoots with somebody.  I've also never been in Cognito before.  Apparently nobody recognizes anyone there. However, I've been in Sane. There's no airport; you have to be driven there. It's some distance past Upthewall. I've made several trips. tongue

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#327 2024-03-26 01:01:30

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Disgruntled user: Having multiple passwords doesn't seem to stop the hackers, but it sure stops me!

big_smile

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#328 2024-03-26 02:31:25

GlennW
Member
From: Brisbane, Australia
Registered: 2019-07-18
Posts: 589  

Re: The Joke Thread

hahahaha! That's some good ones... thank you for the laugh.


pic from 1993, new guitar day.

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#329 2024-03-27 13:07:09

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Two programmers were testing the latest iteration of their web app. It ran and ran but didn't display any results.

"What's wrong with it?" asked one of them.

"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe it ransomware!"

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#330 2024-03-27 13:19:49

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Some things are great only for a period of time and then the novelty wears off. To this day, however, shovels remain a groundbreaking invention.

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#331 2024-03-27 13:27:06

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why didn't golinux appreciate the joke?

Because the punchline was painfully funny.

😉😜

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#332 2024-03-27 15:21:21

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,145  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why didn't  golinux appreciate the joke?
Because it is painful to see a life wasted on nonsense.

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#333 2024-03-27 22:09:32

nahkhiirmees
Member
Registered: 2022-07-24
Posts: 186  

Re: The Joke Thread

Q:why are the Borg superconductive?
A:resistance is futile

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#334 2024-03-27 22:18:25

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

"I am Ohm of Borg. Resistance is voltage over current." big_smile

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#335 2024-03-27 22:19:46

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Did you know that there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than an average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs, and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

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#336 2024-03-31 03:57:54

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Tried calling the tinnitus help line...
No answer, just kept ringing...

🤣

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#337 2024-04-02 11:13:17

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now.

What happened to the rest of him? That's all that's left.

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#338 2024-04-02 22:23:06

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 856  

Re: The Joke Thread

@quickfur  your joke regarding golinux was fun. tongue

@golinux

Are there too many groaners in here for you and you find it annoying? Or can you not laugh at being poked at?

I don't really know specifically, but wondered for real.

If you want nonsense, just  plug some c4 into a cash register full of only coins and blow it up! Then you will really have NONCENTS! tongue


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#339 2024-04-02 23:57:21

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,145  

Re: The Joke Thread

@zapper . . . You completely missed the point of my response. The joke is only tangentially relevant. The comment questioned why anyone would waste their time on something so useless. But then most people waste their entire lives on useless things . . .

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#340 2024-04-03 01:56:01

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 856  

Re: The Joke Thread

@golinux fun fact if you look up useless things, you will find the following:
qanon
fascism
the kkk
climate change denial
conspiracy nuts like alex jones, etc...

tongue


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#341 2024-04-03 16:02:30

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

Relax, it's not as though I spend all day thinking up lame jokes. It's just a way to decompress after doing real work at my day job.  After work some people tend to their garden and grow herbs, some people relax and get a beer belly. But IMHO that's just a waist of thyme.

tongue

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#342 2024-04-04 21:21:30

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

A pun walks into a bar and 5 people died from laughter, another 5 died groaning.

Pun in, ten dead. big_smile

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#343 2024-04-04 21:32:52

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 250  

Re: The Joke Thread

As a wise sage once said...

To pun or not to pun? That is the question.

tongue

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#344 2024-04-05 04:34:28

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

How did the farmer stop the aliens from invading earth?

He caught their spaceship in his tractor beam.

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#345 2024-04-07 04:30:50

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

The couch potato finally found a job at the stadium that suited him. He became a common-tator.

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#346 2024-04-07 19:13:50

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 856  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did a Microsoft employee get fired from Microsoft?

Because when he was working, he was working on wine. tongue

Last edited by zapper (2024-04-07 19:14:39)


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#347 2024-04-08 13:15:17

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

If OSes were cars...

Windows user: I'll install this new filter and it should run for another 2 years.

Mac user: Oh no, something in there is broken, time to buy a new car all over again!

Linux user: (stares at floor full off isolated car parts and wonders how long it will take to recompile the entire car.)

Last edited by quickfur (2024-04-10 01:28:41)

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#348 2024-04-11 20:38:55

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 199  

Re: The Joke Thread

"How much do you think the chimney cost?"

"Let me guess -- nothing, because it's on the house."

"On the contrary, it was through the roof!"

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#349 2024-04-16 23:51:05

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 856  

Re: The Joke Thread

A man using a bong walks into a bar and the bartender throws rocks at him and the man exclaims why?

And the bartender says, that's what we do to hippies, we stone them!

tongue


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#350 2024-04-18 11:52:26

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 250  

Re: The Joke Thread

I learned to play guitar by ear.

Now, I use my hands.

tongue

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