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#551 2024-07-04 00:46:33

golinux
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Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,228  

Re: The Joke Thread

Nice to see a new face in here . . . smile

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#552 2024-07-04 00:49:56

golinux
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Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,228  

Re: The Joke Thread

Lighten up, @golinux! This is a joke thread . . .

Yeah . . . it's a joke for sure . . .

Sorry, couldn't resist . . . hehehe

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#553 2024-07-04 01:01:47

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

@soren: that bus driver joke was awesome. Nice to see a new participant in this sordid thread. tongue

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#554 2024-07-05 14:52:26

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Here's another one just for my friend golinux...

Q. What looks like half of a potato?

A. The other half.

tongue

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#555 2024-07-05 15:02:25

golinux
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Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,228  

Re: The Joke Thread

THUD . . . or maybe spud? That is biologically impossible.  Potatoes are waaaay too gnarly for 2 halves to look alike. Maybe more coffee? big_smile

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#556 2024-07-05 16:01:28

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

I knew you would have a good come-back.

big_smile

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#557 2024-07-06 16:16:20

golinux
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Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,228  

Re: The Joke Thread

I hope . . . erm, poke to please. big_smile

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#558 2024-07-09 16:04:00

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why are teenagers so odd?

Because they can't even.

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#559 2024-07-09 21:12:09

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Wife: Honey, you really need to watch your weight.
Husband: I've been watching my weight!  I've finally gotten it to the point where I can see it!

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#560 2024-07-10 01:26:29

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 3,228  

Re: The Joke Thread

Memory issues? Wasn't once enough?

https://dev1galaxy.org/viewtopic.php?pid=51012#p51012

See . . . I have been paying attention . . .   wink

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#561 2024-07-10 15:45:52

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to afford to pay attention. I'd have to pay through the nose, you see. The scenter of attention.

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#562 2024-07-10 18:03:50

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

baby.jpg

When an Arch-user tries Devuan and finally gets an update...

tongue

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#563 2024-07-10 19:58:27

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

A policeman pulled me over for reckless driving.

He said, "How high are you?"

I said, "No sir. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

tongue

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#564 2024-07-10 22:31:06

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Student A: I can't believe it!!  Remember that boy Joe?
Student B: Joe?  The guy the teacher's always sending out of the class for not doing his homework?
Student A: Yeah! Guess what, he got straight A's in the exams!
Student B: Well, I guess he's always been outstanding...

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#565 2024-07-10 22:39:48

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why does this impressionist painting look like coins falling from the sky?

Because it's Cloud Monet.

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#566 2024-07-10 22:44:57

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

After a lifetime of solving difficult math problems, the mathematician unfortunately succumbed to heart disease.  He couldn't solve his arrhythmatic problem.

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#567 2024-07-12 13:35:46

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Last night, I put Legos all over the floor on my wife's side of the bed. Then I set off the fire alarm...

tongue

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#568 2024-07-12 15:00:31

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

Wow you must really hate your wife! yikes

OTOH...

foot: (n.) a device for locating Lego blocks on the floor.

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#569 2024-07-12 15:39:41

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Nah...I just like to watch her dance...

tongue

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#570 2024-07-12 16:27:28

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 296  

Re: The Joke Thread

I heard she was a tap dancer.

Until one day, she fell into the sink.

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#571 Yesterday 19:34:17

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Last night, I slept like a baby.

I woke up every 2 hours to scream and cry.

tongue

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (Yesterday 19:36:01)

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#572 Yesterday 19:35:05

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

The local YMCA came by asking for donations for a new swimming pool.

So, I gave them a glass of water.

tongue

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#573 Yesterday 19:45:00

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Last week, I put an entire jigsaw puzzle together in less than a day.

The box said 5 - 7 years.

tongue

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (Yesterday 19:45:14)

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#574 Yesterday 19:47:20

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

99.9% of people today seem to be complete imbeciles.

I'm glad I'm part of the 1%.

tongue

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