The Joke Thread

golinux · 2024-06-01 18:32:25

quickfur wrote:

What do you with an imaginary pig?

Typo? No verb . . .

quickfur · 2024-06-01 19:31:36

Yes it was a tpyo. 😉

I fixed it, but I guess a little too late. As Calvin once said, verbing weirds language. 🤣

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-05 16:05:15

I recently started playing Silent Tennis...

It's like regular Tennis without the racket.

quickfur · 2024-06-05 16:10:16

Tennis players often have trouble with relationships. Love means nothing to them!

quickfur · 2024-06-05 16:36:07

Did you read the new novel about the hurricane and the tornado? The story ends with a twist!

quickfur · 2024-06-05 16:44:02

If you're suffering from depression, there's at least one thing you don't have to worry about: flat tires. Because you'll always have despair!

quickfur · 2024-06-05 19:18:43

A couple is at the counselor's office seeking help with their marriage problems.

Counselor: Can you describe your situation?
Husband: Well, we were happy for 25 years...
Counselor: Then what happened?
Wife: Then we met.

🤦

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-06 15:02:18

My boss yelled at me and said, "YOU'RE the WORST train operator EVER! Do you have any idea how many trains you've derailed this year?"

I said, "I have no idea; it's hard to keep track."

quickfur · 2024-06-06 21:09:27

Wife: Honey, I'm not going to work tomorrow.
Husband: Why not? What happened?
Wife: I just can't go back there anymore after what my boss said to me today.
Husband: What did he say? Did he say something inappropriate?
Wife: He said, "You're fired!"

🤦

quickfur · 2024-06-06 21:14:43

Why did the train go off the rails?

Because it had a loco motive...

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-06 22:17:23

I remember when I could go into a grocery store with $3.00 in my pocket and leave with a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs, and a quart of milk.

Now, they have cameras everywhere.

quickfur · 2024-06-07 00:30:03

Recently, I decided to take up fencing.

My neighbour, however, insists that I put it back...

golinux · 2024-06-07 01:23:32

golinux muses that Devuan has the best jokes in great numbers while there are barely enough hands on deck to do what needs to be done to keep Devuan alive . . .

quickfur · 2024-06-07 02:46:40

I checked out your Help Devuan link, but didn't see anything specific that I might be able to help with. No bugs to report, not sure how exactly one might contribute packages or host a mirror. Would be nice if there was a constantly updated page detailing the highest priority items to be done, and how exactly to get started on it.

I do try to answer questions on this forum when I can, but generally my environment is so radically different from most people's that I'm rarely able to actually help.

Posting jokes is low-effort whereas actually contributing takes a little more effort. 😢

GlennW · 2024-06-07 22:12:06

Please keep the jokes coming.

Would be nice if there was a constantly updated page detailing the highest priority items to be done, and how exactly to get started on it.

I think that is a very good idea, perhaps it could be called "The ToDo List".

I haven't any experience in packaging or mirroring either, but I've built kernels and other software from source in previous days.

Generally, I don't install any 'dev' packages unless I really need them.

ralph.ronnquist · 2024-06-07 22:55:03

Sounds good.

And maybe as a first thing, one or two people should involve themselves with the various Devuan discussion channels to set up and maintain a "The Todo List" area on the wiki.

quickfur · 2024-06-08 20:59:19

GlennW wrote:

Please keep the jokes coming.

Q: Why do people in Finland stay home in winter?

A: For happiness -- from all the indoor Finns.

quickfur · 2024-06-08 21:04:12

Did you know that in Israel the biggest ant always takes the lead in the ant colony? That's because it's the Aleph ant.

quickfur · 2024-06-09 22:39:30

Chinese takeout: $8
Tip: $2
Getting home and finding out they forgot part of your order: riceless

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-10 08:17:43

I was walking on the sidewalk the other day and saw a sign in a store's window...Watch Repairs Here.

I stood there for an hour and didn't see any.

igorzwx · 2024-06-10 09:48:34

If you see a "buffalo" sign on an elephant's cage, do not trust your eyes (Kozma Prutkov).

Last edited by igorzwx (2024-06-10 09:57:39)

quickfur · 2024-06-10 12:11:30

A piece of toast is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast, and settles in the waist.

quickfur · 2024-06-10 12:23:09

golinux wrote:

golinux muses that Devuan has the best jokes in great numbers

That may be so, but I haven't seen anything groundbreaking yet. I suggest we get a more accurate reading using a sighsmograph.

soren · 2024-06-10 22:31:14

quickfur wrote:

I suggest we get a more accurate reading using a sighsmograph.

You'll break it!

On topic:
Graphs are always plotting something.

quickfur · 2024-06-10 22:59:41

So are staircases. They're always up to something!

The officially official Devuan Forum!

#401 2024-06-01 18:32:25

Re: The Joke Thread

#402 2024-06-01 19:31:36

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#403 2024-06-05 16:05:15

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#404 2024-06-05 16:10:16

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#405 2024-06-05 16:36:07

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#406 2024-06-05 16:44:02

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#407 2024-06-05 19:18:43

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#408 2024-06-06 15:02:18

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#409 2024-06-06 21:09:27

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#410 2024-06-06 21:14:43

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#411 2024-06-06 22:17:23

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#412 2024-06-07 00:30:03

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#418 2024-06-08 21:04:12

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#425 2024-06-10 22:59:41

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