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The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

A little racy. Feel free to remove it...

tap@devuan:~$ man wife
No manual entry for wife
tap@devuan:~$ 

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

@The-Amnesiac-Philospher Ain't that the truth...

---

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

GlennW

Member

From: Brisbane, Australia

Registered: 2019-07-18

Posts: 644  

Re: The Joke Thread

tap@devuan:~$ man wife
No manual entry for wife
tap@devuan:~$

glenn@GamesBox ~ $ man life
No manual entry for life
glenn@GamesBox ~ $ 

:-)

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pic from 1993, new guitar day.

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Just to be clear @the-amnesiac-philospher

I was saying your comment was racy not that I necessarily agreed with you posting it.

;P

Last edited by zapper (2024-03-14 23:44:57)

---

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

I married my wife for her looks...

... but not the ones I've been getting lately.

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

"Incontinence hotline...

... please hold."

🤦

golinux

Administrator

Registered: 2016-11-25

Posts: 3,318  

Re: The Joke Thread

The groaners keep coming . . .

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The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

The groaners keep coming . . .

Q. What is ET short for?

A. Because he has tiny legs.

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

I used to hate puns but they've since groan on me.

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

The 3 telling signs of laziness:

#1

czeekaj

Member

Registered: 2019-06-12

Posts: 154  

Re: The Joke Thread

Would Mark May sue my family / estate if I put the 'super S'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_S
on my grave stone? 
The guy is a pretty good copy right troll.

Last edited by czeekaj (2024-03-16 00:32:51)

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

My son thinks that something is wrong with the camera.  "Every time I try to take a photo, it turns out grainy!", he complained.

"Well," I said. "That's because you're taking photos of a wheat field."

Last edited by quickfur (2024-03-16 23:07:14)

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Teacher: Did you know that alligators can grow up to 15 feet?

Student: That's funny, I've never seen one with more than 4.

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

My son asked me about how people used to find their way around. He cannot imagine a world without GPS.

I said, in the old days, cowboys used to hang lanterns on their saddles at night to help them find their way home. It was an early form of saddle light navigation.

GlennW

Member

From: Brisbane, Australia

Registered: 2019-07-18

Posts: 644  

Re: The Joke Thread

@quickfur ... "saddle light navigation" rotfl

Thank you

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pic from 1993, new guitar day.

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Seven days without a pun...

... makes one weak.

golinux

Administrator

Registered: 2016-11-25

Posts: 3,318  

Re: The Joke Thread

. . . or more mature . . .

---

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quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Nah, just full groan. 🤣

"Mature" doesn't work as a pun on 7 days.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife's back was really hurting her yesterday, so she asked me if I'd put her clothes on.

I said, "I don't think they'll fit me."

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Interviewer: So, what's your address?
Geek: 172.34.56.78
Interviewer: No, your local address.
Geek: 127.0.0.1
Interviewer: No, I mean your physical address.
Geek: 29:31:d0:a2:4a:01

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

@quickfur the address joke was gold. Very amusing.

And your response to golinux about the groaners keep coming was even more gold.

---

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

My problem is that my left brain has nothing right in it, and my right brain has nothing left in it.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

English Rules...

1. i before e except after c.

That's weird...

quickfur

Member

Registered: 2023-12-14

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

I before E except after C: disproven by science.

🤣

Last edited by quickfur (2024-03-25 04:32:25)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Hahahahaha!