The officially official Devuan Forum!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Miyo . . . you need to get a life . . . 

Last I checked, isn't he married... I recall seeing his youtube page once something about 26 years or something?

So that does seem ironic.

Although, I suppose different people have different ideas of what getting a life is.

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Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

This joke I have shamelessly copied from somewhere, forget where...

A blind man walks into a bar and a chair and desk.

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Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?

Thank Vikings for this!

xD

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 02:51:06)

---

Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Because the name of its latest stable release!

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 17:21:54)

---

Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

soren

Member

Registered: 2023-04-30

Posts: 68  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

I see what you did there, lol

sgage

Member

Registered: 2016-12-01

Posts: 339  

Re: The Joke Thread

sgage . . . having a bad day?

No worse than usual :-)

Ralph's joke brought to mind the Woody Allen 'sincerity' quip. The lightbulb joke was just a lightbulb joke. And everybody likes a good lawyer joke. When a family member of mine was going through law school, we collected quite a few...

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

I see what you did there, lol

---

Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Here's an old one

Why would anyone have  ever used debian jessie I mean, would upgrading have made a difference? What would that be, but a stretch!

Old and irrelevant, but still amusing to me. xD

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Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

A college football coach called his best two players into his office. The quarterback and fullback.

Coach: Okay guys, we're up for the National Title next week, and we can't win it without you!
           Unfortunately, you both are one test away from being on Academic Suspension.
           If you don't pass the next test, you both will be disqualified from being able to play for the Championship.
           Don't worry though, I've spoken with your English professor.
           We have arranged a test that you can pass with no problem!

So, he handed them the tests, told them to begin, and he left the room.

The test only had two questions.

1. What is your name?

Both players started writing.

2. Old MacDonald had a __________ .

The quarterback started writing, but the fullback was confused.

Fullback: Pssst! What's the answer to number 2?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's farm! Old MacDonald had a farm.

Fullback: Oh yeah!

After a pause, he asked another question.

Fullback: Pssst! How do you spell farm?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's spelled e-i-e-i-o!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the coach find two quarterbacks in one day?

Because someone cut 50 cent in half!

Gory, but clever I thought?

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Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

fsmithred

Administrator

Registered: 2016-11-25

Posts: 2,355  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

unbearable...

yeti

Member

From: I'm not here: U R halucinating

Registered: 2017-02-23

Posts: 297  

Re: The Joke Thread

C-x C-c

Ups!
Wrong window!

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<𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍='𝚍𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢.𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛𝙷𝚃𝙼𝙻="𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝙹𝚂!";'>
𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔞𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔲𝔫𝔰𝔲𝔟𝔰𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔟𝔢!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.

I said, "I didn't know he could."

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

I joined a dating site for arsonists, and they sent me a lot of matches.

andyp67

Member

Registered: 2022-10-30

Posts: 171  

Re: The Joke Thread

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

stopAI

Member

Registered: 2023-04-04

Posts: 70  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the day- the masses have suddenly become intelligent….

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 63  

Re: The Joke Thread

I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today.

His mom got really angry.

xcal

Member

Registered: 2017-10-09

Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

"Watch your head!!!"

..."can't - my eyes are in it..."

xcal

Member

Registered: 2017-10-09

Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

sgage

Member

Registered: 2016-12-01

Posts: 339  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

JWM-Kit

Member

Registered: 2020-06-29

Posts: 86  

Website

Re: The Joke Thread

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

That's the explanation for the name of the 1990s punk rock band "Ghoti Hook"

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JWMKit Sourceforge | JWMKit Codeberg | JWM Kit Wiki| JWMKit Forum

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

Backwards? Nah... you would be hearing angels in that case.

Keep in mind, windows is an evil idea to begin with.

;P

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Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 723  

Re: The Joke Thread

What is a napkin?

A napkin is a relative who sleeps next to you!

xD

---

Black Lives Matter!  I am white, but I prefer equality over hatred.
Haughtiness comes before a fall, pride before destruction.
Peace be with you!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon!