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#76 2023-08-27 02:43:21

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

Miyo . . . you need to get a life . . .  wink

Last I checked, isn't he married... I recall seeing his youtube page once something about 26 years or something?

So that does seem ironic.

Although, I suppose different people have different ideas of what getting a life is. big_smile


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
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#77 2023-08-27 02:46:44

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

This joke I have shamelessly copied from somewhere, forget where...

A blind man walks into a bar and a chair and desk.


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#78 2023-08-27 02:50:45

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?

Thank Vikings for this!

xD

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 02:51:06)


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#79 2023-08-27 02:56:15

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Because the name of its latest stable release!

tongue

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 17:21:54)


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#80 2023-08-27 10:34:21

soren
Member
Registered: 2023-04-30
Posts: 123  

Re: The Joke Thread

zapper wrote:

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

tongue

I see what you did there, lol wink

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#81 2023-08-27 11:25:56

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 339  

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

sgage . . . having a bad day?

No worse than usual :-)

Ralph's joke brought to mind the Woody Allen 'sincerity' quip. The lightbulb joke was just a lightbulb joke. And everybody likes a good lawyer joke. When a family member of mine was going through law school, we collected quite a few...

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#82 2023-08-27 17:22:15

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

soren wrote:
zapper wrote:

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

tongue

I see what you did there, lol wink

big_smile


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#83 2023-08-27 17:26:18

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

Here's an old one tongue

Why would anyone have  ever used debian jessie I mean, would upgrading have made a difference? What would that be, but a stretch!

big_smile

Old and irrelevant, but still amusing to me. xD


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#84 2023-08-30 08:15:52

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

A college football coach called his best two players into his office. The quarterback and fullback.

Coach: Okay guys, we're up for the National Title next week, and we can't win it without you!
           Unfortunately, you both are one test away from being on Academic Suspension.
           If you don't pass the next test, you both will be disqualified from being able to play for the Championship.
           Don't worry though, I've spoken with your English professor.
           We have arranged a test that you can pass with no problem!

So, he handed them the tests, told them to begin, and he left the room.

The test only had two questions.

1. What is your name?

Both players started writing.

2. Old MacDonald had a __________ .

The quarterback started writing, but the fullback was confused.

Fullback: Pssst! What's the answer to number 2?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's farm! Old MacDonald had a farm.

Fullback: Oh yeah!

After a pause, he asked another question.

Fullback: Pssst! How do you spell farm?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's spelled e-i-e-i-o!

tongue

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#85 2023-08-30 10:52:06

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the coach find two quarterbacks in one day?

Because someone cut 50 cent in half!

tongue

Gory, but clever I thought?


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#86 2023-09-27 22:12:21

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

tongue

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#87 2023-09-27 22:57:31

fsmithred
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 2,453  

Re: The Joke Thread

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher wrote:

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

tongue

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

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#88 2023-09-28 11:33:43

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

fsmithred wrote:

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

unbearable...

lol

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#89 2023-09-28 12:29:12

yeti
Member
From: I'm not here: U R halucinating
Registered: 2017-02-23
Posts: 316  

Re: The Joke Thread

C-x C-c

Ups!
Wrong window!


<πš‹πš˜πšπš’ πš˜πš—πš•πš˜πšŠπš='πšπš˜πšŒπšžπš–πšŽπš—πš.πš‹πš˜πšπš’.πš’πš—πš—πšŽπš›π™·πšƒπ™Όπ™»="π™³πš’πšœπšŠπš‹πš•πšŽ π™Ήπš‚!";'>
π”“π”©π”’π”žπ”°π”’ π”©π”’π”žπ”³π”’ 𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔯 π”£π”žπ”²π”©π”±π”° 𝔦𝔫 𝔱π”₯𝔒 𝔰𝔒𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 π”Ÿπ”’π”©π”¬π”΄ π”žπ”«π”‘ 𝔑𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔀𝔒𝔱 𝔱𝔬 π”²π”«π”°π”²π”Ÿπ”°π” π”―π”¦π”Ÿπ”’!

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#90 2023-09-28 15:59:06

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.

I said, "I didn't know he could."

tongue

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#91 2023-09-28 17:41:27

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

I joined a dating site for arsonists, and they sent me a lot of matches.

tongue

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#92 2023-09-28 17:49:11

andyp67
Member
Registered: 2022-10-30
Posts: 228  

Re: The Joke Thread

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

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#93 2023-09-29 11:30:22

stopAI
Member
Registered: 2023-04-04
Posts: 146  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the day- the masses have suddenly become intelligent….

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#94 2023-09-29 22:04:25

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 309  

Re: The Joke Thread

I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today.

His mom got really angry.

tongue

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#95 2023-09-29 22:26:49

xcal
Member
Registered: 2017-10-09
Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

"Watch your head!!!"

..."can't - my eyes are in it..."

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#96 2023-09-29 22:34:20

xcal
Member
Registered: 2017-10-09
Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

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#97 2023-09-30 00:01:08

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 339  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

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#98 2023-10-03 02:38:25

JWM-Kit
Member
Registered: 2020-06-29
Posts: 118  
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

xcal wrote:

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

That's the explanation for the name of the 1990s punk rock band "Ghoti Hook"

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#99 2023-10-04 23:35:04

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

andyp67 wrote:

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

Backwards? Nah... you would be hearing angels in that case.

Keep in mind, windows is an evil idea to begin with.

;P


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#100 2023-10-04 23:36:10

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 895  

Re: The Joke Thread

What is a napkin?

A napkin is a relative who sleeps next to you!

xD


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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