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zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Miyo . . . you need to get a life . . . 

Last I checked, isn't he married... I recall seeing his youtube page once something about 26 years or something?

So that does seem ironic.

Although, I suppose different people have different ideas of what getting a life is.

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
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zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

This joke I have shamelessly copied from somewhere, forget where...

A blind man walks into a bar and a chair and desk.

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?

Thank Vikings for this!

xD

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 02:51:06)

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Because the name of its latest stable release!

Last edited by zapper (2023-08-27 17:21:54)

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

soren

Member

Registered: 2023-04-30

Posts: 142  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

I see what you did there, lol

sgage

Member

Registered: 2016-12-01

Posts: 341  

Re: The Joke Thread

sgage . . . having a bad day?

No worse than usual :-)

Ralph's joke brought to mind the Woody Allen 'sincerity' quip. The lightbulb joke was just a lightbulb joke. And everybody likes a good lawyer joke. When a family member of mine was going through law school, we collected quite a few...

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke:

Why did some people think devuan was going to die?

Necause the name of its latest stable release!

I see what you did there, lol

---

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Here's an old one

Why would anyone have  ever used debian jessie I mean, would upgrading have made a difference? What would that be, but a stretch!

Old and irrelevant, but still amusing to me. xD

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

A college football coach called his best two players into his office. The quarterback and fullback.

Coach: Okay guys, we're up for the National Title next week, and we can't win it without you!
           Unfortunately, you both are one test away from being on Academic Suspension.
           If you don't pass the next test, you both will be disqualified from being able to play for the Championship.
           Don't worry though, I've spoken with your English professor.
           We have arranged a test that you can pass with no problem!

So, he handed them the tests, told them to begin, and he left the room.

The test only had two questions.

1. What is your name?

Both players started writing.

2. Old MacDonald had a __________ .

The quarterback started writing, but the fullback was confused.

Fullback: Pssst! What's the answer to number 2?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's farm! Old MacDonald had a farm.

Fullback: Oh yeah!

After a pause, he asked another question.

Fullback: Pssst! How do you spell farm?

Quarterback: You big dummy! It's spelled e-i-e-i-o!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the coach find two quarterbacks in one day?

Because someone cut 50 cent in half!

Gory, but clever I thought?

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

fsmithred

Administrator

Registered: 2016-11-25

Posts: 2,486  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why aren't koalas actually considered to be bears?

Because they're unkoalafied.

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

I wish to protest on behalf of the koalas. That was unbearable.

unbearable...

yeti

Member

From: I'm not here: U R halucinating

Registered: 2017-02-23

Posts: 335  

Re: The Joke Thread

C-x C-c

Ups!
Wrong window!

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*𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚝!*

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.

I said, "I didn't know he could."

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

I joined a dating site for arsonists, and they sent me a lot of matches.

andyp67

Member

Registered: 2022-10-30

Posts: 228  

Re: The Joke Thread

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

stopAI

Member

Registered: 2023-04-04

Posts: 186  

Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the day- the masses have suddenly become intelligent….

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher

Member

Registered: 2023-08-24

Posts: 429  

Re: The Joke Thread

I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today.

His mom got really angry.

xcal

Member

Registered: 2017-10-09

Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

"Watch your head!!!"

..."can't - my eyes are in it..."

xcal

Member

Registered: 2017-10-09

Posts: 2  

Re: The Joke Thread

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

sgage

Member

Registered: 2016-12-01

Posts: 341  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

JWM-Kit

Member

Registered: 2020-06-29

Posts: 139  

Website

Re: The Joke Thread

GHOTI spells 'fish' in English exceptionalism; gh as in "enough", o as in "women", ti as in "action"...

That's the explanation for the name of the 1990s punk rock band "Ghoti Hook"

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zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

Supposedly if you spin a Windows CD-ROM backwards you hear satanic messages,
never mind that, if you spin it forwards it installs Windows.

Backwards? Nah... you would be hearing angels in that case.

Keep in mind, windows is an evil idea to begin with.

;P

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

zapper

Member

Registered: 2017-05-29

Posts: 967  

Re: The Joke Thread

What is a napkin?

A napkin is a relative who sleeps next to you!

xD

---

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!