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#851 2025-02-01 11:53:36

moulder61
Member
Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 61  

Re: The Joke Thread

A snail called the police and said he'd been mugged by a tortoise.
The policeman asked if he could describe the tortoise?
The snail said, "No, it happened so quickly."

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#852 2025-02-01 15:21:48

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 459  

Re: The Joke Thread

The other day I met a slug who claimed that he was actually a snail.  He said that he had just gone through a divorce, and she got the house.

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#853 2025-02-01 22:07:58

moulder61
Member
Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 61  

Re: The Joke Thread

So I went to the garden centre and bought a box of 1000 slug pellets.
2 hours later I went back for another box.
The same assistant served me and said "Wow! Another 1000 slug pellets? You must have a serious slug infestation?"
I said "No, just the one, but I'm having trouble hitting it".

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#854 2025-02-01 22:22:23

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 459  

Re: The Joke Thread

My former neighbour loved dogs.  He had 10 pugs who would cuddle up with him in bed at night.

I guess you could say he had a bed pug infestation! big_smile

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#855 2025-02-01 22:56:45

moulder61
Member
Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 61  

Re: The Joke Thread

I said to my neighbour "I saw your cat go up to the end of the garden, dig a hole then poop in it!"
He said "Yeah, they all do that."
I said "What, with a shovel?"

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#856 2025-02-02 03:55:52

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 459  

Re: The Joke Thread

One cat said to another, Why does my human servant keep stealing my poop with a tiny shovel?!

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#857 2025-02-02 12:04:13

moulder61
Member
Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 61  

Re: The Joke Thread

Two fish in a tank. One said to the other "How do you steer this thing?"

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#858 2025-02-02 14:14:11

quickfur
Member
Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 459  

Re: The Joke Thread

The other fish replied, First, you hook this up here, and then you pull this rod up...

The first fish bit the hook and got reeled out of the tank. It said angrily, Well, tanks a lot!

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#859 2025-02-02 14:29:42

moulder61
Member
Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 61  

Re: The Joke Thread

What's the fastest fish in the sea?
A motor pike with a side carp.

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