The Joke Thread

moulder61 · 2024-09-12 11:47:27

@quickfur

Looks like 5 circles to me?

moulder61 · 2024-09-12 11:53:17

My wife said that she wanted a divorce on the grounds of my gross immaturity.
I tried to reason with her but she said, " Look, that's it. I've had enough. I can't take it any more. It's over. Period".
Then I started laughing.
So she said, "What's so funny?"
I said, "You just said "period"!"

quickfur · 2024-09-12 15:31:28

Oh right, it is 5 circles. See, it confused even me.

quickfur · 2024-09-12 17:59:42

I miss synonym rolls, like the ones grammar used to make.

moulder61 · 2024-09-12 21:18:18

I went to the baker and asked, "Can I have 3 wasps please?"
The baker said, "We don't sell wasps!"
I said, "Well you've got 6 in the window!"

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-09-13 10:28:34

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question with a joke?

quickfur · 2024-09-13 14:47:37

Why ask rhetorical questions?

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-09-13 23:38:02

I have no answer for that.

quickfur · 2024-09-14 05:07:26

You're not supposed to answer a rhetorical question 😆

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-09-14 17:16:14

Hence, I had no answer.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-09-14 17:26:45)

JWM-Kit · Yesterday 00:33:54

. . . cricket sounds . . .

The party died without golinux here

Last edited by JWM-Kit (Yesterday 00:34:34)

quickfur · Yesterday 00:54:37

Well I was away and the thread died. So I decided to hire an Uber to get back here. Turns out, the driver's Russian, and his name is Pickup Andropov.

Last edited by quickfur (Yesterday 01:12:40)

quickfur · Yesterday 01:03:30

In other news, I almost won the stuffy nose contest, but in the end I blew it.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · Yesterday 12:37:22

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to our house the other day.

He dumped a can of cat food on our rug and said that he'd eat what the vacuum didn't pick up.

I said, "I hope you're hungry. Our electricity has been out for hours."

quickfur · Yesterday 15:46:41

As they say, when you open up your vacuum cleaner to clean it, you become a vacuum cleaner.

mirrortokyo · Today 03:44:12

It sucks to be a vacuum cleaner.

quickfur · Today 03:54:03

I want to get rid of my vacuum cleaner. It's only picking up dust. Besides, when it works it sucks, and when it doesn't suck it doesn't work!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · Today 11:10:34

Recently, our local orchestra was playing a concert in the park during a storm.

Lightning struck the Conductor.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · Today 11:26:01

Last week, my friend and I went to the local bar to play pool.

I was setting things up, and my friend asked, "Hey, you wanna break?"

I said, "Why? We're just getting started."

quickfur · Today 14:09:25

My son accidentally bumped the table while sitting down for dinner, knocking over a bowl of peas all over himself.

"Dad," he says. "I need to go to the bathroom. I've just pead myself."

🤣

quickfur · Today 17:51:27

Our guests happened to arrive at the same time as our grocery delivery. They knocked on the door, and the delivery man called out, "Lettuce in!"

The officially official Devuan Forum!

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