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#701 2024-09-12 11:47:27

moulder61
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Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 40  

Re: The Joke Thread

@quickfur 

Looks like 5 circles to me?

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#702 2024-09-12 11:53:17

moulder61
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Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 40  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife said that she wanted a divorce on the grounds of my gross immaturity.
I tried to reason with her but she said, " Look, that's it. I've had enough. I can't take it any more. It's over. Period".
Then I started laughing.
So she said, "What's so funny?"
I said, "You just said "period"!"

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#703 2024-09-12 15:31:28

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Oh right, it is 5 circles. See, it confused even me. big_smile

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#704 2024-09-12 17:59:42

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

I miss synonym rolls, like the ones grammar used to make.

tongue

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#705 2024-09-12 21:18:18

moulder61
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Registered: 2024-07-06
Posts: 40  

Re: The Joke Thread

I went to the baker and asked, "Can I have 3 wasps please?"
The baker said, "We don't sell wasps!"
I said, "Well you've got 6 in the window!"

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#706 2024-09-13 10:28:34

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question with a joke?

tongue

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#707 2024-09-13 14:47:37

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why ask rhetorical questions?

big_smile

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#708 2024-09-13 23:38:02

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

I have no answer for that.

tongue

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#709 2024-09-14 05:07:26

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

You're not supposed to answer a rhetorical question 😆

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#710 2024-09-14 17:16:14

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

Hence, I had no answer.

tongue

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-09-14 17:26:45)

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#711 2024-09-18 00:33:54

JWM-Kit
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Registered: 2020-06-29
Posts: 139  
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

. . . cricket sounds . . .

The party died without golinux here

Last edited by JWM-Kit (2024-09-18 00:34:34)

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#712 2024-09-18 00:54:37

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Well I was away and the thread died. So I decided to hire an Uber to get back here.  Turns out, the driver's Russian, and his name is Pickup Andropov.

Last edited by quickfur (2024-09-18 01:12:40)

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#713 2024-09-18 01:03:30

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

In other news, I almost won the stuffy nose contest, but in the end I blew it. big_smile

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#714 2024-09-18 12:37:22

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to our house the other day.

He dumped a can of cat food on our rug and said that he'd eat what the vacuum didn't pick up.

I said, "I hope you're hungry. Our electricity has been out for hours."

tongue

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#715 2024-09-18 15:46:41

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

As they say, when you open up your vacuum cleaner to clean it, you become a vacuum cleaner.

big_smile

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#716 2024-09-19 03:44:12

mirrortokyo
Member
Registered: 2021-04-08
Posts: 54  

Re: The Joke Thread

It sucks to be a vacuum cleaner.

lol

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#717 2024-09-19 03:54:03

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

I want to get rid of my vacuum cleaner. It's only picking up dust. Besides, when it works it sucks, and when it doesn't suck it doesn't work!

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#718 2024-09-19 11:10:34

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

Recently, our local orchestra was playing a concert in the park during a storm.

Lightning struck the Conductor.

tongue

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#719 2024-09-19 11:26:01

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

Last week, my friend and I went to the local bar to play pool.

I was setting things up, and my friend asked, "Hey, you wanna break?"

I said, "Why? We're just getting started."

tongue

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#720 2024-09-19 14:09:25

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

My son accidentally bumped the table while sitting down for dinner, knocking over a bowl of peas all over himself.

"Dad," he says. "I need to go to the bathroom. I've just pead myself."

🤣

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#721 2024-09-19 17:51:27

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

Our guests happened to arrive at the same time as our grocery delivery.  They knocked on the door, and the delivery man called out, "Lettuce in!"

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#722 2024-09-19 23:48:43

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

I feel sorry for AA batteries...

They're not included in anything.

tongue

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#723 2024-09-20 03:00:15

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

The thing about batteries is that in spite of all the benefits they bring, they always have a negative side. tongue

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#724 2024-09-20 03:05:55

quickfur
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Registered: 2023-12-14
Posts: 431  

Re: The Joke Thread

BTW, I have a ton of batteries to give away. They're free of charge.

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#725 2024-09-20 13:31:35

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
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Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 426  

Re: The Joke Thread

Hahahaha!

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