The Joke Thread

greenjeans · 2023-10-05 15:05:24

sgage wrote:

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.'

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

A: None of your business, am I being detained?

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-05 19:43:40

greenjeans wrote:

sgage wrote:
Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.'
Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?
A: None of your business, am I being detained?

MR. GREENJEANS!!!

Man...how I've missed you! I hope you're okay man!

greenjeans · 2023-10-05 20:21:07

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher wrote:

greenjeans wrote:
sgage wrote:
Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.'
Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?
A: None of your business, am I being detained?
MR. GREENJEANS!!!
Man...how I've missed you! I hope you're okay man!

Missed you too my friend! Doing great as a matter of fact, other than getting old as dust probably the best i've ever been! Good to be back and tinkering with Devuan again.

alexkemp · 2023-10-05 20:37:29

Please stop full-post quoting.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-06 00:40:28

alexkemp wrote:

Please stop full-post quoting.

Sir,

I'm not sure why you are wanting to extinguish the excitement that two old friends are experiencing after a few years of having no contact. After all, this is just a joke thread. I don't think using "full-post quoting" is going to cause anyone to have issues using Devuan...in a joke thread. If I'm wrong, please forgive me.

We are just two old guys...who have reconnected after a few years.

Take care.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2023-10-06 00:50:09)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-06 00:54:23

I got fired from the bank today.

A customer asked me to check her balance.

So, I pushed her.

zapper · 2023-10-06 01:07:18

alexkemp wrote:

Please stop full-post quoting.

Why? Do you want your money from your account or not?

I guess you will need to check on your own!

I am sure you won't have to pay any bills LOL!

I could bank on that!

xD

But seriously, post quoting is fun!

zapper · 2023-10-06 01:08:31

What is the favourite book of any serial killer?

A Graphic novel!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-06 01:26:12

zapper wrote:

What is the favourite book of any serial killer?
A Graphic novel!

Hahahaha!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-06 10:56:33

Six months ago, my wife and I talked about how we need to get in shape, so my wife started walking two miles a day.

I have no idea where she is now.

alexkemp · 2023-10-06 11:38:38

This is my only way to unsubscribe from this thread.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-06 13:02:00

They say that money grows on trees. I guess that's why banks have branches...

zapper · 2023-10-06 20:17:36

alexkemp wrote:

This is my only way to unsubscribe from this thread.

Come on man, don't be a killjoy.

Its an awesome thread.

zapper · 2023-10-06 20:19:17

Someone told me I should have a balanced breakfast and now I have to clean up the floor.

zapper · 2023-10-06 20:36:40

Someone who was in a tiny elevator said they were claustrophobic so when I got my chance, I dressed up like santa claus and screamed ho ho!

This one is pretty darn lame and used on a specific cartoon too, but couldn't resist regurgitating it.

Last edited by zapper (2023-10-06 20:37:01)

fest3er · 2023-10-06 20:57:36

What's the shortest book ever published?
"1,000 Years Of German Humor"

What's the name of the Irishman sitting on the back deck?
Paddy O'Furniture.

What do you call three Irishmen sitting on a lawn?
Fertilizer.

zapper · 2023-10-10 20:58:48

I normally don't tell this type of a joke, but:

Yo mama's so blue she could pass as a smurf!

Last edited by zapper (2023-10-10 21:08:09)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-11 15:44:15

To the guy who created zero...

Thanks for nothin'.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-11 15:48:05

I bought a sweater that kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it.

They gave me another one free of charge.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-12 14:56:13

My wife asked me why I don't buy her flowers.

I said, "I didn't know you sold them."

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-12 16:46:05

greenjeans wrote:

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?
A: None of your business, am I being detained?

Why did the North Korean chicken cross the road?

It doesn't matter; she was just following orders!

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-26 18:00:29

They say you can tell someone's personality from the car they drive.

I don't have a car.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2023-10-26 19:19:19

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory.

But I couldn't park there.

LU344928 · 2023-10-26 20:24:41

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn't have the guts to fart.

GlennW · 2023-10-26 21:46:35

hahahahaha, thanks for the laughs everyone. :-)

The officially official Devuan Forum!

#101 2023-10-05 15:05:24

Re: The Joke Thread

#102 2023-10-05 19:43:40

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#103 2023-10-05 20:21:07

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#104 2023-10-05 20:37:29

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#105 2023-10-06 00:40:28

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#106 2023-10-06 00:54:23

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#107 2023-10-06 01:07:18

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#108 2023-10-06 01:08:31

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#109 2023-10-06 01:26:12

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#110 2023-10-06 10:56:33

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#111 2023-10-06 11:38:38

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#112 2023-10-06 13:02:00

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#113 2023-10-06 20:17:36

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#114 2023-10-06 20:19:17

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#115 2023-10-06 20:36:40

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#116 2023-10-06 20:57:36

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#117 2023-10-10 20:58:48

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#118 2023-10-11 15:44:15

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#119 2023-10-11 15:48:05

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#120 2023-10-12 14:56:13

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#121 2023-10-12 16:46:05

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#122 2023-10-26 18:00:29

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#123 2023-10-26 19:19:19

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#124 2023-10-26 20:24:41

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#125 2023-10-26 21:46:35

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