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#101 2023-10-05 15:05:24

greenjeans
Member
Registered: 2017-04-07
Posts: 531  
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

sgage wrote:

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

A: None of your business, am I being detained?


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Vuu-do GNU/Linux, minimal Devuan-based openbox systems to build on, maximal versions if you prefer your linux fully-loaded.

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#102 2023-10-05 19:43:40

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

greenjeans wrote:
sgage wrote:

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

A: None of your business, am I being detained?

MR. GREENJEANS!!! big_smile

Man...how I've missed you! I hope you're okay man!

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#103 2023-10-05 20:21:07

greenjeans
Member
Registered: 2017-04-07
Posts: 531  
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher wrote:
greenjeans wrote:
sgage wrote:

Why did the chicken only cross halfway across the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.'

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

A: None of your business, am I being detained?

MR. GREENJEANS!!! big_smile

Man...how I've missed you! I hope you're okay man!

Missed you too my friend! Doing great as a matter of fact, other than getting old as dust probably the best i've ever been! Good to be back and tinkering with Devuan again.


https://sourceforge.net/projects/vuu-do/
Vuu-do GNU/Linux, minimal Devuan-based openbox systems to build on, maximal versions if you prefer your linux fully-loaded.

Please donate to support Devuan and init freedom! https://devuan.org/os/donate

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#104 2023-10-05 20:37:29

alexkemp
Member
Registered: 2018-05-14
Posts: 338  

Re: The Joke Thread

Please stop full-post quoting.

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#105 2023-10-06 00:40:28

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

alexkemp wrote:

Please stop full-post quoting.

Sir,

I'm not sure why you are wanting to extinguish the excitement that two old friends are experiencing after a few years of having no contact. After all, this is just a joke thread. I don't think using "full-post quoting" is going to cause anyone to have issues using Devuan...in a joke thread. If I'm wrong, please forgive me.

We are just two old guys...who have reconnected after a few years.

Take care.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2023-10-06 00:50:09)

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#106 2023-10-06 00:54:23

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

I got fired from the bank today.

A customer asked me to check her balance.

So, I pushed her.

tongue

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#107 2023-10-06 01:07:18

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

alexkemp wrote:

Please stop full-post quoting.

Why? Do you want your money from your account or not? tongue

I guess you will need to check on your own! big_smile

I am sure you won't have to pay any bills LOL!

I could bank on that!

xD

But seriously, post quoting is fun!

big_smile


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#108 2023-10-06 01:08:31

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

What is the favourite book of any serial killer?

A Graphic novel!

tongue


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#109 2023-10-06 01:26:12

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

zapper wrote:

What is the favourite book of any serial killer?

A Graphic novel!

tongue

Hahahaha! big_smile

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#110 2023-10-06 10:56:33

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

Six months ago, my wife and I talked about how we need to get in shape, so my wife started walking two miles a day.

I have no idea where she is now.

tongue

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#111 2023-10-06 11:38:38

alexkemp
Member
Registered: 2018-05-14
Posts: 338  

Re: The Joke Thread

This is my only way to unsubscribe from this thread.

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#112 2023-10-06 13:02:00

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

They say that money grows on trees. I guess that's why banks have branches...

tongue

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#113 2023-10-06 20:17:36

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

alexkemp wrote:

This is my only way to unsubscribe from this thread.

Come on man, don't be a killjoy.

Its an awesome thread.

big_smile


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#114 2023-10-06 20:19:17

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

Someone told me I should have a balanced breakfast and now I have to clean up the floor.


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#115 2023-10-06 20:36:40

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

Someone who was in a tiny elevator said they were claustrophobic so when I got my chance, I dressed up like santa claus and screamed ho ho!

tongue

This one is pretty darn lame and used on a specific cartoon too, but couldn't resist regurgitating it.

big_smile

Last edited by zapper (2023-10-06 20:37:01)


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#116 2023-10-06 20:57:36

fest3er
Member
Registered: 2022-07-06
Posts: 8  

Re: The Joke Thread

What's the shortest book ever published?
"1,000 Years Of German Humor"

What's the name of the Irishman sitting on the back deck?
Paddy O'Furniture.

What do you call three Irishmen sitting on a lawn?
Fertilizer.

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#117 2023-10-10 20:58:48

zapper
Member
Registered: 2017-05-29
Posts: 955  

Re: The Joke Thread

I normally don't tell this type of a joke, but:

Yo mama's so blue she could pass as a smurf!

tongue

big_smile

Last edited by zapper (2023-10-10 21:08:09)


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. Feelings are not facts
If you wish to be humbled, try to exalt yourself long term  If you wish to be exalted, try to humble yourself long term
Favourite operating systems: Hyperbola Devuan OpenBSD
Peace Be With us All!

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#118 2023-10-11 15:44:15

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

To the guy who created zero...

Thanks for nothin'.

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#119 2023-10-11 15:48:05

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

I bought a sweater that kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it.

They gave me another one free of charge.

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#120 2023-10-12 14:56:13

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

My wife asked me why I don't buy her flowers.

I said, "I didn't know you sold them."

tongue

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#121 2023-10-12 16:46:05

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

greenjeans wrote:

Q: Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

A: None of your business, am I being detained?

Why did the North Korean chicken cross the road?

It doesn't matter; she was just following orders!

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#122 2023-10-26 18:00:29

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

They say you can tell someone's personality from the car they drive.

I don't have a car.

tongue

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#123 2023-10-26 19:19:19

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher
Member
Registered: 2023-08-24
Posts: 413  

Re: The Joke Thread

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory.

But I couldn't park there.

tongue

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#124 2023-10-26 20:24:41

LU344928
Member
Registered: 2020-02-13
Posts: 74  

Re: The Joke Thread

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn't have the guts to fart.


Devuan Daedalus 5.0  |  MX Linux 23  |  Slackware 15

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#125 2023-10-26 21:46:35

GlennW
Member
From: Brisbane, Australia
Registered: 2019-07-18
Posts: 639  

Re: The Joke Thread

hahahahaha, thanks for the laughs everyone. :-)


pic from 1993, new guitar day.

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