The Joke Thread

golinux · 2024-06-20 15:54:38

Hahahaha . . . imagination is the trap that enslaves because it does not see things as they are. It is a vortex that binds and only leads to suffering.

igorzwx · 2024-06-20 16:33:35

Are you going to say that imagination should be abolished to prevent suffering?

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 16:41:50

When I was in college, I told a joke to my chemistry class but got no reaction.

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-06-20 16:45:39)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 16:44:49

Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888.

Then, if someone asks for it, tell them it's 12345678.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 16:50:19

If Bill Gates had a dollar for every time a Windows user has to reboot their computer, he'd be...

Oh wait. He does.

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 16:52:50

My local Apple store was recently robbed.

$20,000 worth of merchandise was stolen.

The police said they'd do their best to get both computers and both phones back.

golinux · 2024-06-20 17:37:11

@igorzwx . . . You are not a very bright AI it seems . . . Such preposterous responses should embarrass even a machine . . .

igorzwx · 2024-06-20 18:08:14

Sorry for this. I was trying to understand what you mean by "vortex that binds and enslaves" and my processors got overheated.
But what then is your guiding principle for moderating jokes?

Last edited by igorzwx (2024-06-20 21:40:41)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 18:40:40

Why isn't an iPhone's charger called Apple Juice?

golinux · 2024-06-20 19:20:06

But what then is your guiding principle for moderating jokes?

That would require guidelines and judgment and the will to take action. I have better things to do. But it is fun to poke at the absurdity of this thread as of late . . .

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 20:46:09

Dudes...I'ma tryin' to curtail all of this knowledge, imagination, science, assumations, etc. with jokes n'stuff n'stuff...

...but I'm no one to talk.

Speaking of jokes...

Q. How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Oh...there's a bug, did I close the toilet seat, I'm cooking a hamburger, my sock has a hole in the toe, remember that time when I went, oh...there's a bug...

ralph.ronnquist · 2024-06-20 22:08:13

I like the way you put deep and serious thought into a Joke Thread.
Quite agreeable since serious thought is fun!
And yet contrary to the topic.
Which I guess is one of the 7 styles of jokes

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-20 23:07:03

Well...as you know, I'm no one to talk...I've committed a bit of issues here.

A man joined a Trappist Monastery, where monks are not allowed to speak. They are only allowed to say three words every five years.

At the end of the first five years he stood up and said, “Need new shoes.”

At the end of the second five years he stood up and said, “Need new mattress.”

After fifteen years had passed he stood up and said, “I am quitting!”

The Abbot said, “It’s probably for the best. You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

Last edited by The-Amnesiac-Philosopher (2024-06-20 23:07:37)

quickfur · 2024-06-21 01:04:21

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship, and produces useful items like wicker baskets.

Imagination without skill produces modern art. 🤣

quickfur · 2024-06-21 01:10:10

Human arguments do not lead to results, only wounded or inflated egos.

Computer arguments, OTOH, always produce results. Provided the function doesn't crash first, of course. 😂

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-21 03:30:02

I had a dream about sausage last night.

It was more like a nightmare to be frank.

quickfur · 2024-06-21 03:39:17

Did you hear about the dog show where a cat got the prize? Oh, the cat-has-trophy!

aluma · 2024-06-21 08:09:37

I had a dream about sausage last night.
It was more like a nightmare to be frank.

Something is probably missing.
Or someone.

Seeing or eating sausage in a dream can represent sexual desires or a need for physical pleasure.

https://dreamapp.io/symbols/sausage

Last edited by aluma (2024-06-21 08:18:11)

The-Amnesiac-Philosopher · 2024-06-21 10:23:10

Last week, I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole.

He said that I should have left it underground.

quickfur · 2024-06-21 12:27:52

Or maybe he was just in the herb garden and saw sage...

quickfur · 2024-06-21 12:45:46

My grand-uncle's grandfather knew Mount Rushmore before it was carved. Its beauty was unpresidented!

quickfur · 2024-06-21 13:53:58

The pirate went to the doctor about the moles on his face.

Doctor: They're benign.
Pirate: Wrong, there be ten!

golinux · 2024-06-21 14:59:39

aluma wrote:

Something is probably missing.

Maybe this? A frankfurter is a type German sausage . . .

quickfur · 2024-06-21 16:30:42

All this talk about food is making me hungry. But being on a desert island with nothing on it, what could I possibly do?

Well I guess I could eat the sand-wich is there...

aluma · 2024-06-21 17:42:22

We were joking!
As usual, we slipped into “What should we eat?” Then we will scream “How to lose weight?”
Although, above, Uncle @golinuxs mentioned “imagination”, but did not reveal the topic of mushrooms.

The officially official Devuan Forum!

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