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#1 2017-12-18 19:31:57

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

The Joke Thread

If a moderator wants this thread removed, I understand. smile

A Roman (and four of his friends) walk into a café. He holds up two fingers and says, "Five coffees, please."


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#2 2017-12-18 22:14:16

fungus
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From: Any witch way
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 454
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

Is there a 2nd part?
I tried, I don't get it.

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#3 2017-12-18 22:15:19

fungus
Member
From: Any witch way
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 454
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

I also think moderators should be banned from this area smile

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#4 2017-12-18 22:27:13

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

fungus wrote:

Is there a 2nd part?
I tried, I don't get it.

big_smile

A Roman and 4 friends total five...the Roman Numeral for 5 is V...two fingers make a V. tongue

Perhaps I should have called it "The Bad Jokes Thread"? LOLOLOL!

Last edited by MiyoLinux (2017-12-18 22:29:08)


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#5 2017-12-18 23:08:56

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 727

Re: The Joke Thread

That's half of the vulcan salute!

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#6 2017-12-18 23:13:22

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 727

Re: The Joke Thread

fungus wrote:

I also think moderators should be banned from this area smile

You misjudge the mods here.

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#7 2017-12-18 23:18:13

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

That's half of the vulcan salute!

@golinux...Live long and prosper! smile


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#8 2017-12-18 23:28:14

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 76

Re: The Joke Thread

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster gets up in the morning and clucks defiance.

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#9 2017-12-18 23:31:32

fungus
Member
From: Any witch way
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 454
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

What does one mushroom say to another?

Hey you are a "fun_guy" too!!

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#10 2017-12-18 23:34:24

fungus
Member
From: Any witch way
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 454
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:
fungus wrote:

I also think moderators should be banned from this area smile

You misjudge the mods here.

Some are like throwing bate to piranjas (pirannas)

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#11 2017-12-18 23:38:34

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 76

Re: The Joke Thread

fungus wrote:

What does one mushroom say to another?

Hey you are a "fun_guy" too!!


A slight variation that you might like to add to your collection, being a mycological person:

What do you call a mushroom at the bar who buys a round of drinks  for everyone?

A fun_guy to be with.

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#12 2017-12-18 23:40:37

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 76

Re: The Joke Thread

A guy was involved in a terrible industrial accident - ripped off his entire left side.

He's all right now.

I'm sorry, I'll stop now. Maybe.

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#13 2017-12-18 23:59:09

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

Three blondes walk into a bar followed by a brunette. The brunette ducked.


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#14 2017-12-19 00:18:08

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 727

Re: The Joke Thread

You guys need a life . . .

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#15 2017-12-19 00:21:35

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

You guys need a life . . .

A photon checked into a hotel, and the bellhop asked him if he needed help with his luggage.

The photon said, "No thanks. I'm traveling light."


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#16 2017-12-20 21:39:25

greenjeans
Member
Registered: 2017-04-07
Posts: 394
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

Two bacteria walk into a bar, the bartender says "hey we don't serve your kind in here".

The bacterias answer:  " no no, you don't understand, we're staff."


https://sourceforge.net/projects/vuu-do/
Vuu-do GNU/Linux, minimal 64 and 32 bit Devuan-based openbox and mate systems to build on, maximal versions if you prefer your linux fully-loaded.

Please donate to support Devuan and init freedom! https://devuan.org/os/donate

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#17 2017-12-21 19:35:39

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#18 2017-12-22 16:14:54

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

A policeman came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

My dogs don't even have bikes.  tongue tongue tongue


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#19 2017-12-22 16:45:41

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 727

Re: The Joke Thread

Miyo . . . you need to get a life . . .  wink

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#20 2017-12-22 17:10:36

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

Miyo . . . you need to get a life . . .  wink

big_smile

Come on now...you know you at least smiled about that...even if you didn't want to.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

I like my jokes like I like my corn...

Corny.

tongue


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#21 2017-12-22 17:23:29

golinux
Administrator
Registered: 2016-11-25
Posts: 727

Re: The Joke Thread

Your jokes would have been amusing in junior high . . .

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#22 2017-12-22 17:31:50

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

golinux wrote:

Your jokes would have been amusing in junior high . . .

So that's why I was voted Wittiest back then! big_smile

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Ima

Ima who?

Ima gonna keep telling these corny jokes unless someone steps up and tells some good ones. tongue


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#23 2017-12-22 22:08:55

greenjeans
Member
Registered: 2017-04-07
Posts: 394
Website

Re: The Joke Thread

What do you call it when a rooster looks at lettuce?

Chicken-sees-a-salad

wink


https://sourceforge.net/projects/vuu-do/
Vuu-do GNU/Linux, minimal 64 and 32 bit Devuan-based openbox and mate systems to build on, maximal versions if you prefer your linux fully-loaded.

Please donate to support Devuan and init freedom! https://devuan.org/os/donate

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#24 2017-12-23 16:46:25

MiyoLinux
Member
Registered: 2016-12-05
Posts: 376

Re: The Joke Thread

If it takes a dog one hour to dig a hole, how long will it take for him to dig half a hole?

30 minutes? No...






















It's impossible to dig half a hole...a hole is a hole. tongue

The cornyism continues!!!  big_smile


I have been Devuanated, and my practice in the art of Devuanism shall continue until my Devuanization is complete. Until then, I will strive to continue in my understanding of Devuanchology, Devuanprocity, and Devuanivity.

Veni, vidi, vici vdevuaned. I came, I saw, I Devuaned. wink

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#25 2017-12-23 17:10:00

sgage
Member
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 76

Re: The Joke Thread

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger. And then it hit me...

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