@golinux

re: the joke thread

You said to me "Take charge of your own addiction! Closing this would not be fair to other Devuan users."

Maybe it's time for "you" to take a break? Just sayin'.

As a preemptive strike, how do I delete my account. TIA.

@golinux

You said "Closing this would not be fair to other Devuan users."

So you don't object to a joke thread per se, just the amount of jokes? With the state of the world as it is at the moment, I recommend "more" jokes.

You also said "Please note that I do NOT read the jokes. I am only a bean counter keeping track or(sic) resource usage. It is disturbing."

Maybe you "should" read the jokes. Some of them are quite funny. I refer to my previous comment about the state of the world, yet you find a few jokes to be disturbing!
I can't believe that, however many jokes there are, it uses up much in the way of resources. Perhaps you can explain it to the uninitiated?

@golinux

You could do us all a favour and shut this thread down.

I remember hearing about the lobster that went to an underwater disco, showed off his breakdancing skills and pulled a mussel.

Our local graveyard is very popular. People are dying to get in there.
In fact I was walking through it the other night at 1am, taking a shortcut home.
I heard a tapping noise nearby and was a bit worried until I saw an old man sat at a gravestone working away with a hammer and chisel!
I said to him "You had me scared for a minute! What are you doing?"
He said "They spelt my name wrong."

I went to the deli too! They were advertising that you could have any sandwich you liked, however exotic.
So I asked for an elephant trunk sandwich and the assistant said "Sorry, we can't do that for you."
I said "But you're advertising I can have anything I want!"
She said "We've run out of bread."

My memory was playing up so I bought a set of memory and concentration books.
They worked on word association, and I was explaining it to a friend.
I gave him the example of a restaurant I particularly liked but could never remember the name of.
I said "You know that flower that's usually red in colour, has a thorny stem and they're often given as a token of love?"
He said "You mean a rose?"
I said "Yeah, that's it!" then I called my wife and said "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we like?"
They were really good books but I forget how much I paid for them?

Talking of holes, I've lost a buttonhole. I hate it when that happens.

Today, I was thinking about the most life changing thing that's ever happened to me.
I remember one day when it was raining heavily.
I looked out at my garden, and the wooden structure at the end with the hole in the roof.
That was a watershed moment for me.

Two fish in a tank. One said to the other "How do you steer this thing?"

So I went to the garden centre and bought a box of 1000 slug pellets.
2 hours later I went back for another box.
The same assistant served me and said "Wow! Another 1000 slug pellets? You must have a serious slug infestation?"
I said "No, just the one, but I'm having trouble hitting it".

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas?
She said, "An animal fur and something with diamonds."
So I got her a donkey jacket and a pack of playing cards.