After decades of boasting to his Windows friends that his Linux box is immune to viruses, last week Johnny discovered to his chagrin that he got infected with a rootkit and has to reinstall the entire OS.

It's a terminal illness.

"I shoot people.  Sometimes, I cut off their heads."

Said my camera.

The vegetarian recently quit her job.  The celery wasn't good enough.

Couldn't you just type ~. to forcefully disconnect the ssh client? (That's tilde followed by period.)

In a world without fences, who needs Windows or Gates? 😆

I'm not finding very much useful information in https://www.devuan.org/os/packages.  Can't find the list of packages that are specific to Devuan that aren't in Debian.  Is there such a list somewhere?  It's not obvious on this page at all.

I'll tell you a pun about lightbulbs.  It will make you groan in de-light.

First you scare the crows until they caw, then you discard the core keeping the two halves of the apple. Two halves make a whole, so you crawl through the hole back in your house. Then you ask your wife for a kiss, and then you take the keys and unlock the door so that you're not locked out again.

Recently, my drummer friend left his gig due to disagreements with the rest of the band. He has been jobless since, so I advised him to maybe consider joining them again.

"No," he said. "They've been without a drummer since I left.  If I join them again, there'd be repercussions."

My friend told me that he'd finally settled on a career choice.

"To make a long story short", he said, "I became an editor."

Once an alien landed in the concert hall and met famous composer Franz Schubert.

The alien said, Please take me to your lieder.

Anyway, jokes aside, this whole fiasco is living proof of why forced push updates are Evil(tm).  The admin doesn't even have a chance to review whether or not to go ahead, Windows just updates itself without being told to, because it's simply too cool not to install the latest and greatest preemptive multitasking features, and show it off by simultaneously rebooting and crashing.

In a sane world, the admin would first be notified that updates are available, and if he was a sane person, he'd roll out updates gradually, to batches of terminals / endpoints, then test to see if everything is alright before proceeding to upgrade the rest of the endpoints.  But alas, we do not live in a sane world, and updates are just blindly pushed to all endpoints independently of the admin. People are putting a mighty lot o' trust in these Big Tech corporations, I gotta say.