Or, in techie speak:

I accidentally swallowed a whole bunch of Scrabble tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster...!

Once I worked in Hong Kong as a pizza delivery man, and had to deliver pizza to an apartment building. There was a list of buzzer codes on the door:

101 - S. Wong
201 - T. Wong
301 - H. Wong
401 - M. Wong
501 - G. Wong
601 - K. Wong
701 - P. Wong

That's just Wong on so many levels.

I'd butter not tell you my secret, cuz if my boss finds out I've been loafing around, I'd be toast!

Although as they say, no pain, no grain, so maybe he would at yeast excuse the bread puns.

How do you make a cuttlefish laugh?  Give it ten tickles.

Which dinosaur has the richest vocabulary?  The the-saurus, of course.

My best friend was charged with stealing my dictionary.  I have no words.

If it were up to me, I'd just migrate from bookworm to Devuan chimaera instead of trying to reinstall the vps. And possibly upgrade to daedalus afterwards.

Doctor: Before we begin this procedure, I have to warn you that the survival rate is only 50%.
Patient: Well, then let's do it twice!

Airport security found a suspicious-looking unattended suitcase.

After efforts to find the owner failed, they decided to force it open.  And lo and behold, it contained nothing but a single German sausage.

"Oh no," said the chief inspector. "This is the wurst case scenario!"

The student was dozing off in English class. The teacher noticed, and snapped:

"Name two pronouns!"

The student replied groggily, "Who, me?"

My daughter decided to name her iPad after the Titanic.  I have a syncing feeling about this...

"My sister plays the piano by ear!"

"That's nothing; my brother fiddles with his whiskers!"